Itasasu on my own
by keepcalmandhaveacupcake
Summary: Sasuke is depressed after Itachi's passing; the only way he finds relief is reliving his past as he stays in Konoha. Rated T for character death.


**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO; CREDIT GOES TO THE CREATOR OF THE MANGA.** Song lyrics Memory

"Speaking"

Aniki- older brother

Otouto- younger/little brother

ANBU- like our secret agents or SWAT team. Highest rank of power in ninja terms

Uchiha- prestigious clan that existed during the feudal era of Japan in this setting

Konoha- leaf village

Akatsuki- criminal organization led by Tobi, an evil mastermind that should have died years before this story happened

Sasuke walked along the street alone beneath the street lamps; his brother died and right when he needed Itachi's comfort most. _**-Song begins-**_ _And now I'm all alone again no where to turn, no one to go to… _Sasuke looked around the empty street feeling lonely. _Without a home, without a friend, without a face to say hello to… _Sasuke walked into the empty dojo he once called home and headed up to his brother's old room after removing his sandals. He went into Itachi's room and lay down on the bed leaving an impression in the thick layer of dust coating the blanket. Sasuke closed his eyes and relaxed. _And now the night is near, now I can make believe he's here…_ Outside the sun had set and the sky darkened; the villagers turned off their lights. _The city goes to bed and I can live inside my head…_ _**-**__Memory__**-**__**"How was your day otouto?" Itachi asked. "Fine I guess Naruto is still a dope though." Sasuke replied. Itachi chuckled, "I suppose he always will be then?" "Once a dope, always a dope." Sasuke said smirking. "Hm" Itachi agreed. Crickets chirped outside in the grass as the sun set. **__Sometimes I walk alone at night when everybody else is sleeping…__** Sasuke sighed contentedly and leaned back against Itachi's chest. "What about you nii-san, how was your day?" he asked looking up at his brother. "Same as always otouto." Itachi replied. "Work, work and more work?" he asked. "Pretty much" Itachi said. **__I think of him and then I'm happy with the company I'm keeping… __** "Being an ANBU isn't cut out to what it's supposed to be?" Sasuke asked. "Not really, no." Itachi agreed. "Between you and I Danzo creeps me out; appearing out of nowhere." Itachi shivered. "Lord Danzo is seen as creepy? Finally the world is sane." Sasuke said. They both fell silent for a moment and then Itachi began to laugh. "You think he's creepy otouto?" he asked between laughs. "Yes and the world thinks he's not." Sasuke said making his brother laugh harder still. "The world is crazy indeed. My brother is laughing and Danzo is not viewed as creepy." Sasuke mused listening to Itachi's laughter with a smile on his face. "This world is crazy indeed otouto." Itachi said laying on his back his face red from laughing. The sun had set plunging the outside world into darkness. "You think the world will ever make sense Aniki?" Sasuke asked. "It will make as much sense as it does now." Itachi replied facing Sasuke. "I guess we'll all be naive then." Sasuke said yawning. "Yes I suppose we will be naive, but for now we should sleep." Itachi said yawning himself. "Night Aniki, I love you." Sasuke mumbled half awake. "I love you too Sasuke." Itachi said slinging his arm around Sasuke's middle and pulling him close. **_

Sasuke opened his eyes and saw an empty space where his brother's slumbering form should be. Sasuke closed his eyes and hugged himself sadly because his arms just didn't feel the same as Itachi's. _On my own pretending he's beside me… _a slight wind blew through the open window making him shiver on the bed. _All alone I walk with him till morning… _Sasuke pulled his collar up over his face trying to block out the chill. _Without him I feel his arms around me… _ Sasuke shivered again and tears gathered in his eyes, as the wind chilled him further. He got up and went back downstairs pulling on his shoes again before leaving the dojo. Sasuke ran up the main street of the clan compound not knowing where he was heading. Finally he stopped and realized he was lost in one of Konoha's forests. _Memory__**-**__**"Aniki?" "Sasuke there you are! I've been so worried!" Itachi said stopping. "Aniki! I'm sorry I was trying to find the field where cousin Shisui trains with you." Sasuke sobbed. "Shh Otouto shh I'm not mad. I'm just glad you're all right." Itachi said hugging his brother. "Aniki…" Sasuke murmured into his shoulder. **_ Sasuke looked around tears falling down his cheeks. _And when I lose my way I close my eyes and he has found me… _Sasuke walked until he came to the river. Upon looking down at the path beside it fresh tears filled his eyes. _–Memory- __**"Aniki look the earth is shining!" Sasuke said. "Indeed it is otouto." Itachi said leading his mystified younger brother along the path by the river. "Why is it shining Aniki?" Sasuke asked. "After it rains the soil is very clean and the shiny stones show. That is why they call this part of the river the silver bed." Itachi replied. "It's so pretty. Will the path always shine after rain?" Sasuke asked. "So long as the stones are here yes the path will shine otouto." Itachi said bending down and picking up a stone. "Here this is your little piece of the silver bed Sasuke." He handed the stone to his brother. "The stone is rough Aniki. I though stones are smooth?" Sasuke said. "Rub it enough and it will become smooth. This is called a worry stone." Itachi said. "I will rub it every day you're gone on a mission Aniki cause I always worry about you." Sasuke declared; Itachi blushed lightly. "You worry about me?" He asked picking Sasuke up. "Yes cause I love you and I don't want anything to happen to you Aniki." Sasuke yawned laying his head on Itachi's shoulder. Itachi blushed dark pink flattered that Sasuke cared about his well being. "I love you Aniki and I always will." Sasuke murmured sleepily. "Even if I do something horrible?" Itachi asked as he walked along the river. "No matter what I'll never hate you Aniki…" Sasuke said. "I'm glad otouto." Itachi said as he headed home. **_ Sasuke walked along the river and stopped where his brother had found his worry stone. He looked at the now smooth shining stone in his palm and sobbed quietly. _In the rain the pavement shines like silver…_ Sasuke continued to walk along the river until he came to the bend; there he saw the village's lights reflected on the river's surface. Everything looked blurry and Sasuke wondered if this is how Itachi saw things, as he slowly went blind from overusing his special eyes. Sasuke blinked his tears creating ripples on the water's surface. _All the lights look misty in the river… _He continued on until he came to a patch of trees that was shielded from the village's lights. Here only the moon shone making the trees glitter like they were full of diamonds. Sasuke sat beneath a tree and rubbed his worry stone like he used to when his brother was away on a mission. He had nicknamed this place Diamond Grove when his brother had first shown him the sparking trees. Sasuke shivered and tears streaked down his pale cheeks.

–_Memory-__** "Nii-san where are we going?" Sasuke asked as Itachi led him along a path. "It's a surprise otouto." Itachi replied smiling faintly. "Is it a nice surprise nii-san?" Sasuke asked squeezing Itachi's hand. "You tell me, we're here." Itachi removed the blindfold. "Wow the trees look like they're full of diamonds!" Sasuke said in awe. "This grove of trees is special because no one knows about it but us." Itachi said. "Sasuke?" Itachi turned in time to see a blur running at him. "Oomph!" Itachi looked up and saw Sasuke laying on his chest smiling. "This place shall be Diamond Grove." He stated. "That is a very fitting name Sasuke." Itachi said pulling Sasuke into a hug. They sat under a tree together listening to the sounds of night. "Thank you for showing me this place Aniki." Sasuke yawned falling asleep. "Your welcome otouto." Itachi replied pulling the blanket he'd brought over them. "Secret place for brothers to share." Sasuke mumbled in his sleep. "Indeed it is otouto." Itachi yawned falling asleep himself. **_Sasuke curled up under the tree and closed his eyes imagining Itachi's presence beside him. _In the darkness the trees are full of starlight… _Sasuke opened his eyes again looking at the empty grove watching the fireflies dart about.

–_Memory- __**"I got one! I got one!" Sasuke cried looking through the cracks of his fingers at the firefly. "What did you catch otouto?" Itachi asked. "A firefly nii-san, see?" Sasuke opened is hands and the firefly flew away. "Aw it got away." Sasuke pouted. Itachi smiled. "Want to help me catch fireflies Aniki?" Sasuke asked hopefully. "I'm too tired right now Sasuke, but they make great lamps." Itachi yawned. "Okay Aniki I'll make a lamp." Sasuke said running after the fireflies that darted about in the grove. Itachi sat under the tree watching Sasuke chase the fireflies and smiled. "So cute…" he yawned nodding off. "I made a lamp Aniki." Sasuke said proudly; he then noticed that Itachi was asleep. "Aniki must be really tired…" Sasuke yawned setting the lamp beside Itachi. He crawled under the blanket and curled up beside his brother falling asleep almost instantly. **_Sasuke remembered the blanket was in his pack and pulled it out. He curled up beneath it and wept; his emotional dam had finally burst. _And all I see is him and me forever and forever…_ Sasuke shivered uncontrollably and for a moment felt a pair of warm arms surrounding him. "Don't cry otouto." Itachi whispered rubbing Sasuke's back soothingly, but when the teen opened his puffy eyes he was alone. "I'm so sorry Aniki!" he sobbed. _And I know it's only in my mind… _"Shh otouto shh." Itachi soothed. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I took away your second chance at life…" Sasuke sobbed into the empty air. _That I'm talking to myself and not to him…_ "Shh…" Itachi said. "I'm sorry… Aniki…" Sasuke sobbed shivering beneath the blanket. _And although I know that he is blind still I say there's a way for us… _Sasuke sobs grew louder, as his guilt and heartbreak peaked. Sasuke looked at the diamond heart he'd so carefully crafted as he and Itachi's special stone; that heart now sat in the centre of Itachi's tombstone. The sun began to rise casting light upon the secret grove. Sasuke lay asleep beneath the tree tangled in the old blanket. _I love him, but when the night is over; he is gone the river's just a river…_ Sasuke woke up when the early morning sunlight kissed his face. He stood up folding the blanket and tucking it into his pack. He left the grove and headed back into Konoha, however the faces suddenly didn't seem familiar. _Without him the world around me changes. The trees are bare and everywhere the streets are full of strangers…_ Sasuke returned to his apartment and showered like he did every day before training. He went to the training field and waited for Team Kakashi/Yamato to arrive. He cursed the heat wave that had hit Konoha the previous week; he looked up and saw a figure walking towards him. The man had long hair tied in a low ponytail, he blinked and the man was gone. _I love him but every day I'm learning…_ Sasuke trained with his teammates for almost five hours before heading home to shower and go keep vigil again. Yamato looked after him worriedly. "Kakashi I'm worried that he will…" "I know you are but nothing will stop the guilt and pain he feels except this." Kakashi said sadly. "Let's get something to eat and forget about the sadness in the air tonight." Kakashi suggested. "I would like that Sempai." Yamato said and they left. Sasuke showered and pulled on his warmer pyjamas. "How was your day Sasuke?" Itachi asked looking up from his book. "It was great aniki." Sasuke muttered to the empty couch. _All my life I've only been pretending._

Sasuke left his apartment and went to the river and cried remembering all of the times he'd kick stones along the bank while his family celebrated Itachi's promotion or birthday. _–Memory- __**"Happy birthday Itachi!" The other Uchiha sang. "…And today he is a captain…" Fugaku his father stated proudly. "Hooray!" the others cheered. **_

"_**-Sniff- why don't they do this for me?" Sasuke sniffed sadly. "Sasuke is behind." Raku, an Uchiha clan elder said. "I hoped he would turn out like Itachi, but I have little hope for him now…" Fugaku said. "Why… why don't you love me anymore?" Sasuke sobbed tears streaming down his face as he remembered what Itachi had done to his hand made card. Itachi burned it discreetly breaking the little boy's heart; Sasuke had run away from the party after that no longer feeling obliged to stay and celebrate Itachi's promotion and birthday. "No one loves me anymore…" he sobbed kicking a stone into the river with a splash. He sobbed loudly wishing that someone would care about him for once!**__ Without me his world will go on turning…__** Itachi's laughter filled the air along with Shisui's; Shisui always paid attention to the elder of his cousins. Sasuke sobbed broken hearted by the carelessness of his family and the betrayal of his aniki. Itachi laughed again and Mika, the younger of his third cousins said, "Maybe now Sasuke will learn not to make you cards anymore." "I can hope…" Itachi replied. Sasuke sobbed and ran up the riverbank wanting the hurtful words to stop. The world was happy for everyone but him! **__A world that's full of happiness that I have never known_!__** Sasuke ran away from his elders not caring if he got in trouble later, right now he wanted to just die!**_ Sasuke sobbed quietly wishing more than anything that his past had been happier or at least fulfilling. He went back to the grove of trees and sat down beneath 'their tree'. His tears continued to flow as he thought back to their fight. _–Memory-__** "I'm sorry Sasuke, this is the last time. I love you otouto, always." Itachi died smiling and Sasuke laid down beside him tears forming in his eyes. "Aniki…" he sniffed holding onto his dead brother's hand tightly until Tobi the evil mastermind of the Akatsuki came to take him to safety. **__I love him…_

Sasuke curled up beneath the many times darned blanket and closed his eyes tears still escaping down his cheeks. _–Memory-__** "So that is why Itachi murdered the Uchiha…" Tobi summed up. "He was innocent?" Sasuke asked quietly. "I suppose so, yes." Tobi said. "I want to go outside." Sasuke said pulling on his shirt. "Very well you may think this over in the fresh sea air." Tobi said. Sasuke went outside and stood on a large boulder that jutted out of the sea. Tears streamed down his cheeks at the revelation that Itachi did not have to die. "Why did you let me kill you…aniki?" he sobbed quietly. **_

_I love him…_ Sasuke still didn't understand why Itachi let himself be killed like that, for empty vengeance. Sasuke pulled the blanket up to his nose and inhaled the scent of his brother that still lingers in the fabric. Sasuke curled up beside Itachi's grave a few tears running down his cheeks. _–Memory-__** "I granted you wish aniki… I buried you in our special place…" Sasuke sniffed placing the diamond heart in the tombstone. "Just us…forever…" Sasuke said a sob escaping his lips. "I just wish we could spend forever together," he mumbled leaning against the stone. "I will visit you an make lamps like I used too…" Sasuke sobbed weakly. He was a mess by the time he left; his eyes were red and puffy from crying his heart out. **_ Sasuke lay his head on the cold stone like a pillow. "I love you aniki…" Sasuke mumbled sadly falling asleep beside Itachi's grave. "I love you to otouto, don't cry anymore. I'm here for you." Itachi murmured sitting beside his sleeping brother and hugging him. "Hm aniki don't leave me…" Sasuke said in his sleep a few stray tears falling down his cheeks. Itachi wiped away the tears with is thumb lovingly. "I won't leave you alone tonight Sasuke." He said resting his chin on Sasuke's head. "I love you forever aniki…" Sasuke mumbled. "I love you always otouto…" Itachi said. _I love him… but only on my own.__** –End Song- **_What Sasuke didn't know was that Itachi was actually there with him in the grove beside his grave, but when the sun came up Sasuke was once again **on his own**.

The End 


End file.
